Midnight

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Dark and alone…home

but

not really there…

sitting between walls

looking at them with a blank stare…do I dare?

Emotions everywhere

mind all over the place

rocking back and forth

without

a rocking chair

blowing out

hot air

mumbling, ”Do I really care?”

If midnight was in

the daylight

maybe I would

dissolve in the sunlight

away from

the darkness

that hunts

me often

to

put me in

a burial coffin

dead

from my own head.

 

 

It Up to Me…

Stumble

upon

a rock,

tripped

over my own

shoe,

clumsy to

stand

balancing

when

I lost

You.

Embrace

for impact

with

both hands

to fall…

different thoughts,

different ways,

different days,

it’s still up

to me always.

Gravel

scuffed

my hands

rough

but

as tough as

I…

I get up

to be

myself

brushing off

the pain,

only I

can

hold myself

up

when

No others

around

me

remains.

In my Head…

My mind

speaks

to me…Fix me?

What’s wrong

with me? Shhh!

Let me quiet

those

thoughts

louder

than I

want to think

or

want to speak

wanting

that

attention

intentionally

pounding

to listen. Hush!

Let me

hear

my

sounds

Of ME

my

turn up

bass

of music

mystery

to

drown

them old wildly

echoing tunes of the truth…the past…

the whatever… to another song…Ahhhhhh!

Screaming

inside

anxious

whispers

of grains

sprawling

sound bits

awaiting me

to misery

from

peace from ME.

Will peace everybe?

Shhhhh! Quiet please.

Remember What?

Flashbacks…,

daydreams…,

Nightmares…,

they’ve

come and go

into

memories

of anguish

and spooked

into swirling

illusion and confusion

Woken

into insanity

sailing back

off track

to tailor

defeat…

No, No, No,

not me

anymore…

pressing

reset on the

cranial lobe

of toxic

cancer

eating away

precious

today’s…

Shy

hiding

not

confiding

tried and exhausted

sobbing for

solutions

to

dead this

slow execution

of misery…

No, No, No,

can’t talk

about it,

write

about it,

or even

try to

describe it…,

muting

the

wanna

knows

sparingly

from

an pandora box

filled

of trying not

to

Remember…,

To

how I

wanna be

remembered

as

not

crazy.

Closed Casket

I smelled

the Roses

before

collected

bouquets

as I

go

if I

died

today

Touche…,

No

money

can convey

I am a

limited

edition

classy female beast,

grew up

on the

east side

of my b-town streets,

No

honey

sweeter

to sting

your heart

with joy

or

buzzfeed

ya

right

outta

own

front door

than

thee,

five-foot-three

shorty

holding

University degrees

living

day by day

being

the best mom

I can possibly

be

praying

one

day my

son

can live

a

better life

than

me,

avoiding

momma’s struggles,

working

quadruple doubles

or reloading

a glock from

troubles…,

One bullet,

No

name

it aims

and claims

away precious

life

in loving memories

her

name

don’t weep

or

air-mouth-sing

to my

casket…,

I was here

before

smelling

the Roses

collecting

my

bouquets

from around

the ways

Touche…,

if you

never ever

gotta

know

me

on any

of my

Living

days.

Now or Never

Loving the

fire in my

soul

and grace

in my

heart

of an

organic growth

without

pesticides

dieseling

droplets

to destroy

the beauty

bits and

ugly parts

blossoming

up

to

new ways

to love

me

gently.

Sunnyside

to a funnyside

of the

mental,

massaging

the

patience

to adore

all which

ain’t had

before,

MYSELF

out of the

dirt.

A Balled up

bud

buried to

the generic

genetics as

a seed

bursting

to prosper

and flourish

naturally

as Me.

Life Jacket

Floating far away

from shore

backstroking

through

the oceanic

into

a life

No One

needs to

explore,

Mine…,

having no

clue in

shoreline

directions

swimming

freestyle into

an attached

anchor of

exhaustion…,

up and down

in panic attacks

breaths in

endurance

taken in

saltwater on

each

breaststroke

for

survival

for what?

What did I do?

What can I do?

An individual

medley

dangerously

too gone

under

for

a SOS message.

I Love Me Some Me

You don’t know me, but you hate me?

You never seen me for who I am,

but you judge me?

You never seen a stylish, classy, sophisticated, brown- skinned lady?

You never seen such a radiant beauty with curly nappy hair and a contiguous smile?

You never seen my strength or weakness…,

You never seen my struggles or experience my pain,

but

You judge me?

You never seen my potential to persevere through adversity,

You never seen such a compassionate, sweet and genuine soul,

You never seen my credentials or my work ethic

yet,

you hate and judge on me?

You never seen me for who I am

because you are not me.

I am me

and will always be.

UnApologetic for those who do not recognize…,

but

your Hate and Judgements

dont phase Me

because

I Love Me for Me.

The Perfect Star?

Can you catch a perfect star?

No replica or settling

for less

of Love

precious in True love

infections…

Observing the sky at night you see plenty of stars, Right?

When I look up there…Out of all of the stars I see only one that’s the brightest one, the sweetest one, the kindest one… the most reliable one…

to

my eyes to see,

tongue in nature’s sight

you sprung on me tonight

something special I’ve never seen.

I caught a star.

The best star for me in perfection.

It’s taken years

finally,

I think I found you, and you found me…I’ve never touched a star before…Glowing hot!

Will it or will it not…Burn me if I touch it right?…

I’ll wait and see,

Time for us equals to cool down in degrees.

Time is our best destiny, to see the things in each…It’s just not that easy to catch the perfect star!

I want this star to show me if I’m not regretting or being deceived

by a light

that’s not really

for me.

Time…For you…Time…For me…I don’t want to hurt you and you don’t want to hurt me.

So catching the perfect star

can rather be good

or rather bad

for you or me.

Love in reality time letting your love grow never asking

why

there’s only

one star for me….

You are that perfect star.