Midnight

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Dark and alone…home

but

not really there…

sitting between walls

looking at them with a blank stare…do I dare?

Emotions everywhere

mind all over the place

rocking back and forth

without

a rocking chair

blowing out

hot air

mumbling, ”Do I really care?”

If midnight was in

the daylight

maybe I would

dissolve in the sunlight

away from

the darkness

that hunts

me often

to

put me in

a burial coffin

dead

from my own head.

 

 

Jayna

Hey baby sis,

the one that

I miss

so far

never near

your fingerprints

on me

are smeared.

Ain’t perfect

no one on

Earth

is…

wish we

could go back

one last time as kids…I wouldn’t

change a thing,

life is what it is…messed-up at times.

From time

to time

you cross my mind

but

our paths now

won’t ever

aligned

again…shrugging the tension off my

shoulders…

bye

baby sis,

I wish we

could’ve grown

together older.

It Up to Me…

Stumble

upon

a rock,

tripped

over my own

shoe,

clumsy to

stand

balancing

when

I lost

You.

Embrace

for impact

with

both hands

to fall…

different thoughts,

different ways,

different days,

it’s still up

to me always.

Gravel

scuffed

my hands

rough

but

as tough as

I…

I get up

to be

myself

brushing off

the pain,

only I

can

hold myself

up

when

No others

around

me

remains.

Life’mares

Cold sweats, he shooked

in and out of death,

silently whispering confession

of dark nightmares

hated

for years later

till death,

pointed a gun

in tears

to his left

lobe

erasing all fears

he let go

to leave

out of

misery…,

To

hunting me

again

he hasn’t left…

breathing the same whispers

at night,

tugging my pillow from

left to right,

hugging sheets

of repeated

whispers

hunted

sleepless

to praying

“My God Please…, take

this

PTSD away from

Me!”

Heavyweights

Storms in

my eyes

heaviness in

my heart

and silence in

my voice

to

collateral damage in

someone else’s

war

against

themselves

as knives

slices

straight

to the

point,

the same

boiling

water

softens the

potato

hardens

the egg

to break

into

shattered

pieces

of tiny

shells

bare and vulnerable

to its

yolk core,

exposed

to

even sugar

looking

like salt

until

no more.

Write Out

pen

talk

to my heart

leaking out

red ink

to an emptiness

void

sealed up

like Fort Knoxx

pumping rapidly

destroying

all happiness

as if

it’s

my fault…,

constantly

jabbing

round for round

nagging the past

as an emotional hoarder,

a perfect recorder

rewinding

to press play to

AGONY

when it

wanna…,

to sores

healed enough

but,

not enough

to keep

refilling

to

repeated

tragedies

and defeats

in a mind

struggling

to live

life

glee.

Now or Never

Loving the

fire in my

soul

and grace

in my

heart

of an

organic growth

without

pesticides

dieseling

droplets

to destroy

the beauty

bits and

ugly parts

blossoming

up

to

new ways

to love

me

gently.

Sunnyside

to a funnyside

of the

mental,

massaging

the

patience

to adore

all which

ain’t had

before,

MYSELF

out of the

dirt.

A Balled up

bud

buried to

the generic

genetics as

a seed

bursting

to prosper

and flourish

naturally

as Me.

That is That!

portrait by JoeEngland

Get back…,

OR

it’s payback,

to

attack

a hot tension

stacked

intuition

build-up,

unraveling,

holding together,

in a day

of light

to

brewing grey

smoke

percolating

at the

seams,

poofing

future dreams

into

Asphalt…,

oh, its mean

to say

BOO and get spooked…,

Step Back,

OR

lay flattered

on the mixture gravel

regurgitating

chunks of

lies

accumulated

from the inside

of You…,

Walk

Backwards

Away,

into the

cave

sculpting

the beginning

to the endings

of Your

short sentences,

as the

END.

Life Jacket

Floating far away

from shore

backstroking

through

the oceanic

into

a life

No One

needs to

explore,

Mine…,

having no

clue in

shoreline

directions

swimming

freestyle into

an attached

anchor of

exhaustion…,

up and down

in panic attacks

breaths in

endurance

taken in

saltwater on

each

breaststroke

for

survival

for what?

What did I do?

What can I do?

An individual

medley

dangerously

too gone

under

for

a SOS message.