Cut Ties

Shakin

a lot of salt

my way

I guess

it’s

just the season

I’ve been fighting

for me and mines

that’s the

TRUE reason

going thru somethings

don’t see Love

the same

family members

caught up

in a web of propellers

looking at me

like I suppose to be jealous…,

please,

not saying it politely

I really don’t care

cause

nightly,

I’ve prayed

to be wiggled out

of their

noose knot

finally finding the

truth out

I know what their

Love about

money

handouts

with their

filthy hands

only a few

really

understands

it’s always

something wrong

or something up

just to get

their pennies

to a hundred bucks.

Jayna

Hey baby sis,

the one that

I miss

so far

never near

your fingerprints

on me

are smeared.

Ain’t perfect

no one on

Earth

is…

wish we

could go back

one last time as kids…I wouldn’t

change a thing,

life is what it is…messed-up at times.

From time

to time

you cross my mind

but

our paths now

won’t ever

aligned

again…shrugging the tension off my

shoulders…

bye

baby sis,

I wish we

could’ve grown

together older.

Uh-Oh…Its just business…

Money

flow

stop and go

S&P Dow

Up and Down

like riding a merry-go-round…frown

it’s just business

case closed

there goes

retirement

dough

age is

a number

social security

won’t be

no more…

it’s just business….

to whatever or whomever

floats

the yachets, masions, and expensive

cars

in a six car garage

mixed up

with

scammers…it’s just business…

lose it all

crawling behind

bars

riches to poor

money ain’t money

if you don’t

have it anymore.

Stank

Eeeeeeel!

Funky

clogged

up

dirty

drains

spills

nasty filth

of

a grime mouth

running-out

sewers

rats in

packs…

Come

See

Me…

Here…I …Am.

Locked and loaded

waiting,

to

squeeze-off

happy

yo-muck-head

to

bleed out

a

Prayer

to God, …Wait!

Candles

lit

patience

to

sit

holding

on to

the situation

or

headout.

Angermanagent

red…

spread

em’ out

stinky- inky…

this is

or

this ain’t

a cleanse

gone bad.

It Up to Me…

Stumble

upon

a rock,

tripped

over my own

shoe,

clumsy to

stand

balancing

when

I lost

You.

Embrace

for impact

with

both hands

to fall…

different thoughts,

different ways,

different days,

it’s still up

to me always.

Gravel

scuffed

my hands

rough

but

as tough as

I…

I get up

to be

myself

brushing off

the pain,

only I

can

hold myself

up

when

No others

around

me

remains.

In my Head…

My mind

speaks

to me…Fix me?

What’s wrong

with me? Shhh!

Let me quiet

those

thoughts

louder

than I

want to think

or

want to speak

wanting

that

attention

intentionally

pounding

to listen. Hush!

Let me

hear

my

sounds

Of ME

my

turn up

bass

of music

mystery

to

drown

them old wildly

echoing tunes of the truth…the past…

the whatever… to another song…Ahhhhhh!

Screaming

inside

anxious

whispers

of grains

sprawling

sound bits

awaiting me

to misery

from

peace from ME.

Will peace everybe?

Shhhhh! Quiet please.

Remember What?

Flashbacks…,

daydreams…,

Nightmares…,

they’ve

come and go

into

memories

of anguish

and spooked

into swirling

illusion and confusion

Woken

into insanity

sailing back

off track

to tailor

defeat…

No, No, No,

not me

anymore…

pressing

reset on the

cranial lobe

of toxic

cancer

eating away

precious

today’s…

Shy

hiding

not

confiding

tried and exhausted

sobbing for

solutions

to

dead this

slow execution

of misery…

No, No, No,

can’t talk

about it,

write

about it,

or even

try to

describe it…,

muting

the

wanna

knows

sparingly

from

an pandora box

filled

of trying not

to

Remember…,

To

how I

wanna be

remembered

as

not

crazy.

Returning to Visit

In a cold

dark room

she sat in slient

on concrete

looking down

at the space

between her toes,

rocking back and forth

to many triggers shots

stealing time preoccuping

her mind she reached

maximum capacity.

“Talk to me,” I whispered.

She looked at me once

and turned her face.

Golden droplets

leaked down her

shaking pants leg

to the ground.

She parted her dry lips

to bite her finger nails,

shaking her head

side to side,

swollen eyes

looked into mine

she said,

“I want to be erased, kill me now, or I will myself, no matter what it takes.”

Slowly walking towards

her we embraced in a hug.

Four knocks…

guards open large

medal door.

Stepping out of the threshold

she yelled, “I love you girl, don’t come back to My Hell. ”

the door slammed closed

for seventy-two hours

and three minutes later,

she was pronounced dead…,

never forgetting

a moment

because

she’s always in my head.

Here’s My Hand…

What I say may

sound silly

now

but

you’ll find

it to be true…,

I never thought

that

when we met

I would fall

in love with You.

You

are my

new beginning,

you’re

the door to

life beyond…,

you’re all

that I

could ever want

or ever

need to

carry on.

You’re

the future

I have

dreamed of,

you’re a new and brighter

day…,

with

You

there is

no looking

back,

the past

can fade away.