Cold sweats, he shooked
in and out of death,
silently whispering confession
of dark nightmares
hated
for years later
till death,
pointed a gun
in tears
to his left
lobe
erasing all fears
he let go
to leave
out of
misery…,
To
hunting me
again
he hasn’t left…
breathing the same whispers
at night,
tugging my pillow from
left to right,
hugging sheets
of repeated
whispers
hunted
sleepless
to praying
“My God Please…, take
this
PTSD away from
Me!”
Alone
sitting
under
insecurities
clouds
rain
strikes
lightning
all around
my
way
refused
to moved
sitting
back
anyway
into
my wrestling
mind
reflecting
life
as loving eyes
become
lost
hard times
stay
tough
and
street crimes
accumulates
enough
blood lost
of
humanity
to
witness
more insanity
in families
reloading the
shots
aimed
and ready
to pull
the trigger
in
cruel
intentions
to blast the
wicked
into
retaliation
ways of
Street Justice
for Us…,
Clearly,
mirroring
the same horrific
horror
in
tears flowing
out
drenching
hidden
rupture
hearts
choking on
reality
for
years
or not
to
hid away
in the dark
or not…,
Haven’t
moved from
lightning
why not…,
sitting
back to
Alone
anyway
or gone
anyday.
I miss you,
I really do.
I may not
talk to you
everyday, or
be grace by
your presence
in my zone
conversely
acknowledging
the recoil
resistance to
reach out to you
anymore
but…
my heart and spirit
with compassion
and admiration
for you
will eternally be
a prominent
part of my life
So…
missing
You,
will never change.
Born from
sin
punished
to not
fit-in
anywhere
but
in
seclusion
at least
it was
an illusion
as a little girl…
A mother
hatred
to her
“ragdoll”
daughter
she used
to call me…
Dragged
anytime
out of bed
by
my hair
and
whopped
decent
was her
reasoning…
Bruises
given by both
insignificant
folks
classified
as my
parents on
a birth
certificate
stamp
“a magnificent baby girl”
stuck into
a
home world
to be
uptight,
frightened
and
mislead
with a
brown wooden
cross
hanging over
my bed…
Mistake
to misspoke
once to a
school
counselor
brushing
with danger
telling my
black marks
on my arm
wasn’t from
paint
but
out of anger…
Trained to
look down
and
no eye contact
was the
rules
if anybody
had questions
those
folks
were quick
to fool…
Dealt to
deal with
a slip tongue
consequence
alone
in a room
that
was
a cell
of confusion
isolated
for
their
amusement
growing up…
Making
privacy
my adult
choice.
Ebony Brown
from
B-town
at
thirteen
off the bus
girls grabbed
pushed
and
talked slick
to
punches
flying
Left fist
to right eye,
right fist
to the rib,
in self-defense
she came
running
to
my crib.
Ebony Brown
was weird
preferred to be
alone,
mom
never home,
never
knew her dad,
reading
around school
was really
all
she
had.
To my door
crying
from
frustrations
open arms
to listening
ears
she stay
the night
for
guidance
talking,
and
knowledge
dropping,
her off
to school
in the morning
Afterschool,
an extra mile
walked
to share
a smile
and our day
making sure
Ebony Brown
got home
safe and okay
until,
she moved
away
graduating at the
Top
of her class
She wrote: Because of You.
A gifted blessing
of Love
watching
you
grow to
Succeed
Humbly
to the
highest
degree.
Curious
of those
whose face
looks
you
up and down
from your head
to your toes
to be in
your business
to used thee.
Dream
riders
self-esteem
killers
Too many
judges
holding on
to nasty
grudges
living their life
stirring up
strife.
Be confident
with yourself
within yourself
for
Your life’s
journey
not
what others
expected to see.
Wiping
her face
tears
flow
more and more
sitting
between
a glass
barrier
hated to
see me
but glad I was there.
Limited
cash flow
in a
poverty hood
caught up
in a rectangular
web fighting
greed, power,
reputation and herself.
She fought battles
beast mode, fist slam
like Kimbo Slice.
She never smiled
hard faced
she didn’t
trust sugary
candied fruit con
in compassionate foolery.
Written letter she
wrote to me
15 years confined
to penitentiary.
First-class post
stamps in envelope
sent back, and
money posted to
her comissinary account.
Talking,
her voice tremble
frivolous irritation
degraded.
My own blood…,
visitation time
was up
loyalty
Stood.
